HAVE A LAUGH (Mix Jokes)

LIFE AFTER DEATH:
"DO YOU  BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS  EMPLOYEES.
"YES, SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE  REPLIED.
"WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST  FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON.
"AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL, SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU!

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SUPPORT A FAMILY:
THE  PROSPECTIVE FATHER-IN-LAW ASKED, "YOUNG MAN, CAN YOU SUPPORT A FAMILY?" 
THE SURPRISED GROOM-TO-BE  REPLIED, "WELL, NO. I WAS JUST PLANNING  TO SUPPORT YOUR DAUGHTER. THE REST OF YOU WILL HAVE TO FEND FOR YOURSELVES."

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GRANDMA  STUFF
LITTLE  JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA! HOW OLD SHE WAS.
GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND  HOLDING."
JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID,
"AND  HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET  GO?"

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PALM SUNDAY:
IT WAS PALM SUNDAY AND,  BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-OLD JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM  CHURCH WITH A SITTER. 
WHEN THE FAMILY RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE  CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES. 
THE BOY ASKED WHAT THEY WERE  FOR. "PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD AS HE WALKED BY"  "WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT,"
THE BOY FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T GO, HE SHOWS UP!"

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CHILDREN'S SERMON:
ONE EASTER  SUNDAY MORNING AS THE MINISTER WAS PREACHING THE CHILDREN'S SERMON,
HE REACHED INTO HIS BAG OF PROPS AND PULLED OUT AN EGG.
HE POINTED AT THE EGG AND ASKED THE CHILDREN,
"WHAT'S IN HERE?" "I KNOW!" A LITTLE BOY  EXCLAIMED. "PANTYHOSE!"

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FIRST TIME  USHERS! :
A LITTLE  BOY IN CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME WATCHED AS THE USHERS PASSED AROUND THE OFFERING PLATES.
WHEN THEY CAME NEAR HIS PEW, THE BOY SAID LOUDLY, "DON'T PAY FOR ME  DADDY. I'M UNDER FIVE."

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PRAYERS:
THE SUNDAY  SCHOOL TEACHER ASKED, "NOW, JOHNNY, TELL ME, DO YOU SAY PRAYERS BEFORE  EATING?"
"NO SIR," HE REPLIED, "WE DON'T  HAVE TO, MY MOM IS A GOOD COOK!"

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CLIMB THE WALLS:
"OH, I SURE AM HAPPY TO  SEE YOU,"
THE LITTLE BOY SAID TO  HIS GRANDMOTHER ON HIS MOTHER'S SIDE "NOW MAYBE DADDY WILL DO  THE TRICK HE HAS BEEN PROMISING US."
THE GRANDMOTHER WAS  CURIOUS. "WHAT TRICK IS THAT?" SHE ASKED.
"I HEARD HIM TELL MOMMY  THAT HE WOULD CLIMB THE WALLS IF YOU CAME TO VISIT" THE  LITTLE BOY ANSWERED.

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THE MOOD RING:
MY HUSBAND  BOUGHT ME A MOOD RING THE OTHER DAY. WHEN I'M IN A GOOD MOOD IT TURNS GREEN.
WHEN I'M IN A BAD MOOD, IT LEAVES A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD.THE WATER PISTOL:

WHEN MY  THREE-YEAR-OLD SON OPENED THE BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM HIS GRANDMOTHER, HE DISCOVERED A WATER PISTOL.
HE SQUEALED WITH DELIGHT AND HEADED FOR THE NEAREST SINK. I WAS NOT SO PLEASED.
I TURNED TO MOM AND SAID, "I'M SURPRISED AT YOU. DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY WITH WATER  GUNS?"
MOM SMILED AND THEN  REPLIED..... "YEAH, I  REMEMBER"