A Step-by-Step Guide to Completing Homework (at the hostel)

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to the nearby cafe and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, drop him. 5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it. 7. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate. 8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror. 9. Listen to one side of your favourite tape and that's it-- I mean it! As soon as it's over you are going to start that paper. 10. Listen to the other side. 11. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order. 12. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, and the world at large. 13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savour its special flavour. 15. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from 'Rahul Dulhaniyan Le Jayenge' to every Zee or Sony soap is truly worthwhile. 16. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot. 17. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror. 18. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is. 19. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future. 20. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall. 21. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 22. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it. 23. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise. 24. Lie face down on the floor and scream at the top of your lungs. 25. Leap up and write the paper. 26. Type the paper. 27. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write the paper.

Sourced from the net by Batchmates member

Boy and Tree

There was one time a very young boy, who used to spend time playing by a tree.

One day he got bored and he said to the tree, "I'm bored, I've played with these toys too many times!"

The tree replied, "OK, you can climb up on me and play on my branches."

The boy got really happy with this suggestion and he had a lot of fun playing and sitting high up, on the branches of the tree.

When he started school, he spent more time away from the tree, but one day he came back to it, and the tree was overjoyed to see its young companion, and it encouraged him to climb on, but he refused.

"My clothes are going to get dirty if I climb up on you."
So the tree thought for a while, and said, "OK, bring a rope and tie it to me, and you can use my branches as a swing."

The boy liked that idea, so he did that too, and would come back every other day to sit for a while on that swing.

Whenever he used to get hot, the tree told him to rest in its shade.

As he got older, and moved on to college, times became harder on him and he ran short of food, so he went back to the tree which he had stopped visiting for a long time.

The tree recognised him immediately and welcomed him, but he was hungry and complained to the tree, "I don't have any food to eat, my stomach is cringing with hunger."

So the tree said, "Pull down my branches and take off the fruit, and fill yourself up."

The young guy didn't even hesitate, but jumped up and tore off one of the smaller branches and ate to his fill.

Over the weeks, he tore off all the branches and ate all the fruit.

After the fruits had all gone, he went away and didn't come back to the tree.

When he reached his middle ages, he came back to the tree and said to it, "I have been very successful in life.

I have earned a lot of money, I have a huge house and I have found a great wife.

Now I want to travel and see the world."

The tree was now very old, but to help its long time companion, it didn't wait, and said, "Bring a saw, cut off my trunk and make a boat. Then you will see the wonders of the world."

So again, without hesitation the man cut down the tree.

The same tree which he had played on, ate its fruit, laid in its shade; he cut it down and made a boat.

As soon as it was finished, he sailed away and wasn't seen by his people again.

One day, an old man, walked past the tree.

It hadnt recovered from the time he had cut it down. He went up to the tree, but didn't say anything.

He felt the tears coming down from his eyes.

This time the tree spoke in a faint voice, "I'm sorry. I don't have a trunk for you to climb, nor fruit for you to eat, nor branches of shade for you to lie in. All I have now are my deep roots."

The old man whispered, "That's fine. Tree roots are the best place to lie down, snuggle up and sleep after a long life."

The tree symbolizes our parents, and the boy symbolizes us.

The moral of the story is that we make use of our parents like tissue, and use them all up, and don't even give thanks, but they stay with us till the very end.

50 Most Romantic Things To Do With Your Girl Friend

1. Watch the sunset together.

2. Whispers to each other.

3. Cook for each other.

4. Walk in the rain.

5. Hold hands.

6. Buy small gifts for each other.

7. Gift Roses.

8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear every time you're together.

9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.

10. Write poetry for each other.

11. Hugs are the universal medicine.

12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.

13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/ poetry etc.

14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie!

15. Spend every second possible together.

16. Look into each other's eyes.

17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.

18. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.

19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.

20. Buy her a ring.

21. Sing to each other.

22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.

23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two-deal

24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)

25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.

26. Dance together.

27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.

28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have

to look in a mirror to read it.

29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes

30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.

31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.

32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.

34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.

35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.

36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.

37. Hang out with his/her friends.

38. Go to church/pray/ worship together.

39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.

40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.

41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.

42. Make sacrifices for each other.

43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.

44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.

45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.

46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.

47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.

48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.

49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.

50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say,"Sweet dreams."

Give me your e-mail

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Some Company.


The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.


"You are employed."

He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."




The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."


I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."


The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.


He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60.


The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.


5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.


He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.


He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email".


The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"


The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Some Company!"