Greedy Boy - A short moral story for kids

There lived a twin brother called Sam and Tom! They were identical twins, even their mother found it too hard to differentiate between them during the initial months of birth. However, they were like two poles when it comes to everything other than their appearance. They neither agree with anything nor do they share even one single trait! Sam had no friends, whereas for Tom the world was friendship. Sam loved sweets and Tom loved to eat spicy foods. Sam was mommy’s pet and Tom was daddy’s pet. While Sam was generous, Tom was greedy! As they grew up, their father wanted to share his fortune equally. However, Tom did not agree and he argued that whoever is more intelligent and strong, will gain higher share of wealth than other. Sam agreed. Their father decided to organize a competition between the two. And they ordered the two sons to walk as long as they can in and they should return home before the sunset. Whoever covers the longer distance and returns home before sunset will get huge amount of wealth proportionate to the distance they covered. They don’t carry watch to calculate time. Both started to walk a long way during a sunny day. Sam walked slowly and steadily, while Tom urged to win over Sam started to run instantly. The distance they cover until mid-noon will be equal to the distance they would reach home before sunset. It was mid-noon and Sam decided to return back as he could reach home on time. However, Tom, with his greediness to earn more wealth, did not turn his way back home even after mid-noon. He walked two times longer distance that what Sam was covered and decided to return back before the sunset. He urged to return home as the Sun turned orange in the evening. Unfortunately, he could not even make half way to home and the moon rises. He lost the race and was defeated because of greediness! GREEDINESS WILL MAKE YOU LOSE EVERYTHING

Loneliness

 Fanny Howe, 1940

Loneliness is not an accident or a choice.

It’s an uninvited and uncreated companion.

It slips in beside you when you are not aware that a

choice you are making will have consequences.

It does you no good even though it’s like one of the

elements in the world that you cannot exist without.

It takes your hand and walks with you. It lies down

with you. It sits beside you. It’s as dark as a shadow

but it has substance that is familiar.

It swims with you and swings around on stools.

It boards the ferry and leans on the motel desk.

Nothing great happens as a result of loneliness.

Your character flaws remain in place. You still stop in

with friends and have wonderful hours among them,

but you must run as soon as you hear it calling.

It does call. And you climb the stairs obediently,

pushing aside books and notes to let it know that you

have returned to it, all is well.

If you don’t answer its call, you sense that it will sink

towards a deep gravity and adopt a limp.

From loneliness you learn very little. It pulls you

back, it pulls you down.

It’s the manifestation of a vow never made but kept:

I will go home now and forever in solitude.

And after that loneliness will accompany you to

every airport, train station, bus depot, café, cinema,

and onto airplanes and into cars, strange rooms and

offices, classrooms and libraries, and it will hang near

your hand like a habit.

But it isn’t a habit and no one can see it.

It’s your obligation, and your companion warms itself

against you.

You are faithful to it because it was the only vow you

made finally, when it was unnecessary.

If you figured out why you chose it, years later, would

you ask it to go?

How would you replace it?

No, saying good-bye would be too embarrassing.

Why?

First you might cry.

Because shame and loneliness are almost one.

Shame at existing in the first place. Shame at being

visible, taking up space, breathing some of the sky,

sleeping in a whole bed, asking for a share.

Loneliness feels so much like shame, it always seems

to need a little more time on its own.

Tentacle Plunger

From Art Lebedev studios, the "octopus" plunger, which creates the amusing illusion of a tentacled poop-monster's questing appendage reaching up out of the pan.

A message from above

I never thought I would be writing about a trip to the convenient store, but this trip was like no other. It seemed like a typical November day, two years ago, as I walked out of Walgreens. It was just a month after my grandmother had passed away and I spent my days running useless errands hoping to fill the void in my heart and distract me from the pain.
As I attempted to walk out of the store, I was frustrated by everything that was going on around me which was a very common feeling during this time. I was angry because I couldn’t even remember what I went there to buy so I ended up spending over $20 on nonsense just to waste time and money, both of which I didn’t have.
I was mad and confused at everyone. Especially, the young girl walking through the store holding her grandmother’s hand. The little girl was begging her grandmother for ice cream just like I use to when I was little, before I was old enough to know that there are bigger problems than a lack of sugar. There is heartache and pain in this world. Before I was old enough to understand that one day my grandmother wouldn’t be here with me. “Here is $20 my sweetie,” the woman said, “Keep it for later and well get you some Mr. Softy.”
As I carried on, I remembered all of the times my cousins and I would play outside of my grandma’s house, waiting patiently to hear the sounds of the Mr. Softy truck. The minute we heard it, no matter how far it may have been, we would run inside smothering my grandma with hugs and kisses while begging for some money. No matter how many times she would say, “Remember kids, no ice cream today,” everyday we would ask and every time she would always end up giving each of us exactly $20. Obviously, we all know that ice cream doesn’t cost this much, but that was my grandma, always giving more than she ever had to give.
Who knew that I, an 18 year old, could be jealous of a three-year-old little girl wearing pink slippers and a Dora the Explorer backpack, but I was, because at the end of the day she had something I didn’t have anymore. A grandmother by her side.
I had to force myself to ignore the little girl who others kept calling “cute” and “adorable” when I simply thought she was nothing but obnoxious. She was just too happy for me and that was unacceptable, at this time, in my world.
I continued to the register to pay for my things, none of which I even remembered picking until I placed them on the counter. It was than that my anger quickly shifted from the little girl who seemed to have everything to the cashier who didn’t have anything, not even my change. She had to bring my things to another register which just felt like a waste of time. Everything felt like a waste of my time. When the cashier gave me my change I didn’t say thank you. I didn’t say have a good day. I simply took my change and left.
Feeling exhausted and hopeless, I began walking to my car. Every step seemed draining, and every step was another to survive. As I looked up into the sky I thought about how my grandmother had left me, and my anger began to return. I was outraged by the loss, and my belief in God was beginning to diminish. I couldn’t understand why these things happened. So as I stood in a public parking lot a million questions formed in my mind. Why did this happen to me? Aren’t we supposed to get signs from the people that pass on? Why did I not feel her presence anymore? Is there a heaven?
Suddenly, a woman driving right by my side rolled down her window and distracted my unanswered thoughts. “Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me,” she said loudly. Thinking she was going to ask for my parking spot, I simply pointed to my car. The thought of having to verbalize where my car was seemed like too much to bear. “No, excuse me,” she said again. At this point, I felt I had no choice but to see what this annoying lady wanted. As I got closer though I was startled-was this my grandmother’s nurse, Adu, who lived with her during her final months? I soon realized that she wasn’t, although the resemblance was uncanny. Then, I realized that this Adu look a like was searching for something in her bag. Surprisingly, I was overcome by a sense a relief that lead me to be patient the entire time the lady was searching. Others would be nervous by a stranger reaching in their bag unanimously, but I wasn’t. Under a clutter of makeup, money, pens, and other belongings, she finally reached to the very bottom of her bag and handed me a three page booklet. “It looks like you need this,” she said calmly with a warm smile on her face.
I looked down at the mysterious and obviously used pamphlet and on the front cover in big bold letters read “What Hope for Dead Loved Ones?”
It took me only a few seconds to comprehend the exchange with this woman, but by the time I looked up, she was gone.
I walked slowly into my car gripping the tiny little book that was given to me with fear that it would fly away in the wind. I didn’t know what it was exactly, but I knew that if my grandmother had anything to do with this that I didn’t want to let it go.
I felt a sense of relaxation as I opened the first page. It explained how people pass on, but their spirit remains with us. This was the first time since my grandma had passed that I felt her with me, just like I had wanted. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but I did know that I finally felt happiness from the surprising change in events.
I couldn’t, and still can’t, believe what had happened to me on that day. I don’t remember the specific details that you usually hear about like what the person was wearing, the time of day, or even the weather, but it doesn’t matter. It was a random day in November when my life turned back around and I began to feel hope again. It was real. It was a miracle. And, I’ll remember it for the rest of my life.

Story by visitor: Jessica Correale

That little girl

Have you ever not wanted to do something so badly that you would rather die than go? Well that’s how I felt about joining Madcaps and volunteering at Saint Vincent De Paul Homeless shelter.
But now I believe that you should have an open mind to things because in the end you might just end up enjoying it.
“It’s a waste of time”, I said when my mom told I had to join Madcaps, a mothers and daughters club assisting philanthropies, and then when she told me I had to volunteer at a homeless shelter I thought this just could not get worse.
We got there late, of course, and walked to the dirty homeless shelter, where we saw a lady yelling at the security guard. He dealt with her and then lead us to the kitchen where we ran into my five fellow Madcaps class of 2017 mothers and daughters. Since I’m usually so socially awkward I had met only one person at the pool party, earlier this year. I looked around for her but she was not there. Damn, I was alone!
When the head of the kitchen came out and asked for 3 mothers to work outside the kitchen to clean up the plates and silverware, my mom just so happened to volunteer, leaving me to serve food with people I had never met before.
Soon the homeless families started to walk in and a little girl, around 5 years old, walked up and pointed to the food I was handing out. I handed her the cold sandwich, wrapped in the sticky plastic, she nodded in a form of saying thanks, and then walked to join her family at the large table.
As she walked away I thought of how much I had. I get to go to one of the top schools in San Diego, I have a great house by the water, and I have a warm meal every night. Then I thought of how little she had. She probably didn’t go to school, and this is where she sleeps and eats every day. It took that little girl to make me realize just how lucky I am.
After that moment I had a change of heart. Now, I love Madcaps and don’t miss one meeting, I have gotten over being socially awkward and now have many friends, who I hang out with on a regular basis. And this year I am sure I will do more than the required 20 hours of philanthropies.
I believe that if you have an open mind about things you can learn a lot about yourself and the people in your community, you can make new friends and realize just how lucky you are. I believe that if you have an open mind to things you can accomplish more and become a better rounded person. I believe you can make a difference just by doing one thing you don’t want to do.

Story by visitor: Aly Arrington

Just follow the Tracks

3 men are stranded in the middle of the Canadian Forest and they don't know where they are at. They decide that they have to find some food. So the first man leaves and tells the other 2 that he is going to get some food.

Several Hours later, he comes back with a deer over his shoulder. The other 2 are amazed and ask him how he got a deer with no weopans. He replies, " I find tracks, i follow tracks, i get deer". They both are slightly confused but let it go.

1 week later, they have eaten the deer, so they need to get more food. The second guy leaves and says that he is going to get food. He comes back a couple hours later with a elk over his shoulder. The other 2 ask how he got the elk. He simply replies, "I find tracks, i follow tracks, i get Elk".

5 days later, they have eaten the elk, so they need more food. The third guy, feeling very cocky, thinks to himslef, " This is going to be a piece of cake. The other guys got the other animals so easy. I'm going to get an animal better than their's put together!". So he leaves to get some food. They wait a couple hours... he doesn't come back. They wait another couple hours, he is still missing.

Finally, after 9 hours of waiting, they see him coming back. His clothes are torn rags, he is covered in dirt with scrapes and bruises all over his body. He is bleeding from different gashes in his arms and legs along with one on the side of head. They ask, " What happened!". He looks at them, wide-eyed and confused, and replies, " I find tracks, I follow tracks, i get hit my train".

Money

There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"

She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

"Yes," the wife said, "I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

Cinderella Would Be Shocked

Sure, there are some pretty stupid criminals out there. Yet this excerpt from a Washington Post article proves that not all criminals are dumb – in fact, some are so clever that the Post labeled this article, "The Best Comeback Line Ever"

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, Picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's... just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Darn...is it midnight already?"

The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever

Let’s face it – we’ve all had our share of embarrassing moments. Just be thankful that none of them were as humiliating (and hilarious!) as these:

"A mother was taking a shower when her2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!"

"A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away."

"A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’

An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, "Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?" She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, "I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments." The cunning guy now yells loudly, "What do you mean by $500?"

Weight Loss Plan

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

He lost 63 pounds that week.

Duck Hunting

He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.

In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the nw Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.

Now, these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and from the new Navigator truck), and they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the lit dynamite fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite as far away as they can.

Remember a couple of sentences back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog??

Let's talk about the dog: it's a highly trained Labrador used for RETRIEVING. Especially well trained at retrieving things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.

One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 birdshot, hardly big enough to stop a Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck..

The men continue to yell as they run away. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after his master.

Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this "I can't believe this happened"look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED. He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments!!!

And you thought your day was not going well.

Nasty Bug

Every night, Harold would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, and left.

The next night, after he finished his 3th beer, the doorbell rang.

He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.

The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.

The fourth night Harold didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Harold and left him in a heap on the living room floor.

The following day, Harold went to see his doctor. He explained events of the preceding four nights. "

" What can I do? " he pleaded.

" Not much " he doctor replied. " There's just a nasty bug going around."

Puss In Boots

There was once a miller who had three sons. When his end was near, he gathered them close to him and said:

"My sons, it your turn now to take the reins. You, my eldest, child shall have the windmill. You, my next elder, shall have the donkey. An you, my little Benjamin .. will have the cat."

On the death of their father, the three sons got what he had said.

The youngest son was crestfallen at having inherited the cat. He berated himself and said, "What am I going to do with such a ridiculous gift? I suppose I can eat him when I'm starving and sell his skin for a few sous ... After that, I'll probably starve to death!"

The cat, who had heard everything, said to him. "Now, now, Master. No need to cry like that. Get me a big sack and a pair of boots."

Without being astonished that his cat could talk to him, the young lad went and fetched what was asked for.

The cat put on the boots, took up the sack and left for the forest.

He lay the sack down, which he had transformed into a trap, and waited.  He didn't have to wait long before a stunned hare was swallowed up inside it, and the cat had only to pull the strings to trap it.

The cat went along to the king's palace, who lived not far away, and asked to see him.

He was received by the king in person, and after a few reverences, said  to him, "Sire, my master the Marquis de Carabas gives you this hare as a gift. He caught it himself on his own grounds.”

The king accepted the present and asked the cat to thank his master for him.

The next day, the cat caught two partridges that he brought to the king, still on behalf of the Marquis de Carabas. Throughout the next week the cat brought the king the products of his hunting.

At the end of the week the cat found his master and said to him, "Master, today you will bathe in the river."

The young lad, still not astonished at a talking cat, did as he was told.

While he was splashing about in the water, he heard the noise of a horse-drawn carriage and his cat crying out:

"Help, Help! My master the Marquis de Carabas is drowning!"

The king, who was passing by, ordered his men to stop the carriage and go to the river. He asked his people to help the Marquis de Carabas. To cap it all, explained the cat, the brigands had stolen the master's clothes. The king had someone look for a new suit of clothes for the Marquis.

The young lad, once he was finely dressed, was quite a handsome chap. He approached the carriage to thank the king and noticed the princess. He mumbled a few words and the king, who noticed that his daughter had taken quite a shine to the lad, said to him:

"Marquis, won't you join us?"

He couldn't believe his luck, and sat himself in the carriage facing the princess.

Meanwhile the cat had gone on ahead. Seeing a wheat field in which some harvesters where gathering in the crop, he approached and said to them:

"When they ask you who the field belongs to, you will say it belongs to the Marquis de Carabas. If you don't, I'll see to it that you're ground into mince meat."

As soon as the carriage drew up to the field, the king asked the harvesters, "Who owns this soil?"

They replied, in a single voice, "The Marquis de Carabas."

Not far along, the cat came across some reapers sowing a field. He said to them:

"When they ask you who the field belongs to, you will say it belongs to the Marquis de Carabas. If you don't, I'll see to it that you're ground into mince meat."

The king's carriage drew up along side the reapers and asked them, "Whose land is this?"

They replied, in a single voice, "The Marquis de Carabas."

The cat continued his journey up ahead. He arrived at a castle owned by an ogre, the same ogre who owned the fields they'd just passed. He asked to see the ogre, and was granted an audience.

"My lord," said the cat addressing the ogre. "I have learnt that besides all your riches you possess a gift: The gift of turning yourself into any kind animal you choose. But, I can't quite bring myself to believe it. Perhaps, in your great generosity, you'll kindly give me a demonstration of your powers . . ."

The ogre, flattered that someone had taken quite such an interest in him, proposed to turn himself into a lion, a feat which he completed immediately.

When he resumed his original appearance, that cat thanked him profusely, and then said:

"You know how to transform yourself in a ferocious animal. But do you know how to change yourself in a small animal ... a mouse, for example?"

The ogre, proud and vain, and wanting to show off his immense power, didn't hesitate, and immediately transformed himself into a mouse.

The cat, not giving him the opportunity to transform himself back, pounced on the mouse and ate him!

He went to find the servants in the castle and ordered them to prepare a great feast for the arrival of their new master.

Soon the king's carriage arrived. Opening the door, the cat said:

"As a way of thanks, my master the Marquis of Carabas invites you to dine with him."

The king climbed down from the carriage, followed by his daughter and the "Marquis de Carabas", and was led to the castle by the cat.

During the course of the sumptuous diner, the king addressed the  Marquis.

"Sir, I see that my daughter has taken quite a shine to you. You don't displease me, either. Would you do me the honour of becoming my son-in-law?"

The "Marquis" was delighted at this offer, having eyes only for the princess. He accepted the honour with joy and married her the very next day.

As for the cat, he was made a lord. He still chases mice, if only for the simple pleasure it brings him.

Cendrillon

There was once a gentleman who got married for a second to time, and to a woman who was the haughtiest and proudest woman you could ever imagine. She had two daughters of the same disposition, who took after her in all things. The gentleman had a daughter of his own, but who was very kind and good. She took after her mother, who was the best woman in the whole world.

Hardly had the gentleman married his new wife than she started to show her true colours. She could not bear the good qualities of this young woman, who showed up her own daughters as being detestable. She gave her the most vile jobs in the house. It was her who cleaned the dished and washed the steps, who scrubbed madam’s bedchamber, and those of her daughters. She even had to sleep right at the top of the house, in a loft on a dirty straw bed, while her step-sisters slept in bedroom with fine flooring, sumptuous beds, and had mirrors where they could see themselves from head to toe.

The poor child suffered it all with patience. She didn’t dare complain to her father, who would have scolded her, because he was ruled entirely by his wife.

When her work was done, she sat in the corner of the room, by the chimney, amongst the cinders. This gave rise to a cruel name in the whole household - cinderarse. Her younger sister, who wasn’t as cruel as the rest of them, just called her Cendrillon (cinders). However, Cendrillon, even with her filthy habits, was a hundred times more beautiful than her sisters, although they were always dressed in magnificent clothes. 

One day, the king’s son gave a ball, and invited all people of high quality: the two step-sisters were also invited to it, because they were “big noises” in the country. They set about getting ready, busying themselves with their dresses and deciding which hairstyles would suit them best. More chores for Cendrillon, because it was she who had to run around after them, taking up hemlines and sewing collars and cuffs. They spoke of nothing else but how they were going to look.

“I”,  said the eldest, “shall wear my red velvet dress, done with English trimming.

“I, “ said the youngest, “Shall only have an plain skirt, but I shall wear my gold embroidered overcoat, and a diamond tiara, which is bound to get noticed.”

They sent for the best hairdresser, to arrange their hair and accessories. They called Cendrillon, and asked her what she thought, because she had good taste. Cendrillon would offer them the best advice in the world, and even offered her services to the hairdresser. It was the hairdresser who asked Cendrillon, “Will you be going to the ball?”

“Ah, I think you’re making fun of me. They don’t want the likes of me there.”

“You’re right. Everyone would laugh if they saw a Cinder Arse at the ball.”

Someone other than Cendrillon would have taken this as an insult. But the hairdresser was the best, and done her job perfectly.

So filled with joy were the two step-sisters that they didn’t eat for two days. They snapped more than 12 corset laces trying to squeeze their waists to the smallest size possible, and they were always in front of the mirror.

Finally, the big day arrived, and the sisters left for the ball. Cendrillon followed them with her eyes for as long as possible. When she could no longer see them, she burst into tears. Her godmother, who saw her tears, asked her why she was crying.

“I would have liked … I would have liked … “ And she started crying again, so strongly that she couldn’t finish.

Her godmother, who knew a few spells, said to her, “You’d like to go the ball, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes,” said Cendrillon, sniffing.

“Well,” said the godmother, “if you’re a good girl, I’ll get you there.”

She led her to her room and said, “Go into the garden and get me a pumpkin.”

Cendrillon went straight away, and picked the best pumpkin she could find. She brought it back to her godmother, not being able to see how this pumpkin would get her to the ball. Her godmother hollowed it out, leaving only the peel. She tapped it with her wand, and it changed into a beautiful golden carriage.

Next she looked into the mouse trap, where she found six mice, all still alive. She asked Cendrillon to release the trap a little, and when the six mice came out tapped each of them with her wand. And they soon turned into beautiful horses, making a great team out of six dapple-grey mice. As they were going to all this trouble, they might as well make a coachman. “I will see,” said Cendrillon, “if we have a rat in the rat trap. He’ll make a great coachman.”

“You’re right,” said her godmother. “Go and see.”

Cendrillon brought back the rat trap, where they found three big rats. Her godmother choose one of them for his superior beard, and turned him into a fat coachman, and he had the best moustache they’d ever seen. Then she said,

“Go into the garden. You’ll find six lizards behind the watering can. Bring them to me.”

No sooner had she brought them back than her godmother changed them into six lackeys, who took up position behind the carriage in their fine clothes, and who clung to each other, never having done anything else in their entire lives.

Her godmother said the Cendrillon, “Well, when you go to the ball, you’ll go in style, hey?”

“Yes, but shall I go there in my filthy clothes?”

Her godmother had only to touch her clothes and they turned into clothes of gold and silver, shimmering with precious stones. Next she gave her a pair of glass slippers, the prettiest in the whole world.

When she was all ready, Cendrillon climbed into her carriage. But her godmother ordered her to return before midnight, warning her that if she stayed at the ball a moment longer the carriage would turn back into a pumpkin, the horses back into mice, the coachman back into a rat, and the lackeys back into lizards, and her new clothes would turn back into her former rags.

Cendrillon promised her godmother that she would be back before midnight. She left, feeling nothing but joy.

The king’s son, when someone tipped him off that a great princess had arrived that no one knew, went out to greet her. He took her hand as she stepped down from the carriage, and lead her into the dance hall where the revellers gathered. A great silence descended; people stopped dancing, and the violins stopped playing, all to witness this great beauty who has suddenly arrived. Everybody started murmuring at once, “Ah, how beautiful she is!”

Even the king, as old as he was, couldn’t take his eyes off her, and whispered to the queen that it was a long time since he’d seen such a stunner as this. All the women were studying her hair and her clothes, so that the next day they too could look like her, provided they could find such materials, and such skilled workers.

The prince placed her at the head of the table, and led her onto the dance floor. She danced with such grace that they admired her even more.

They brought in great many beautiful snacks, which the prince couldn’t eat, so taken was he with admiring her. She sat down next to her sisters, and bade them a thousand pardons. She gave them a few segments of the oranges and lemons given to her by the prince. This astonished the sisters because they didn’t know her.

While they were chatting away, Cendrillon heard the bell chime out for 11 45. She made her excuses to the entire company and left immediately.

As soon as she arrived back home, she found her godmother and said that she wished she could go to the ball again tomorrow, because the prince had begged her to. As she was telling her godmother everything that had happened, her two sisters banged on the door.

Cendrillon opened the door for them. “You’ve been gone a long time,” she said to them, yawning and rubbing her eyes, making out that she had just woken up. She had had no desire to sleep, however, ever since they’d left.

“If you’d been at the ball,” said one of the sisters, “you wouldn’t have come back early either. A beautiful princess came. She was the most beautiful princess anyone had ever seen. She was very civil, and gave us some of her oranges and lemons.”

Cendrillon felt full of joy, and asked them the name of this princess. The sisters said that nobody knew her, not even the prince, who would give anything to know her name. Cendrillon smiled and said to them:

“So she was quite beautiful, hey? You can’t be happy that I’m not able to see her, surely? Mademoiselle Javotte, lend me your yellow dress that you wear every day.”

“Well really!” said Mademoiselle Javotte. “Lend my dress to a dirty cinder-arse like you – I’d have to be mad!”

Cendrillon wasn’t at all unhappy with this insult, and would have been quite embarrassed if her sister had  lent her the dress.

The next day, the two sisters went to the ball. Cendrillon went too, but dressed even more nicely than the last time. The prince never left her side, and whispering sweet nothing constantly. Cendrillon never grew bored, and soon forgot what her godmother had told her: to return at the first stroke of midnight. Cendrillon thought it was only 11 o’clock. She got up and fled as nimbly as though she were a doe.

The prince followed, but wasn’t able to catch her. In her haste, Cendrillon lost one of her glass slippers, which the prince carefully gathered up.

Cendrillon arrived home, without her carriage, without her servants, and in her filthy rags. Nothing remained of her former splendour except for a single glass slipper, the partner of the one she had lost.

The guards at the palace gates were asked if they has seen a princess leave. They replied that they had seen no one, save for a young, scruffy girl who was more of a peasant than a princess.

When her sisters came home, Cendrillon asked them how the ball had been, and if the beautiful princess had been there. They said that she had, but that she had fled at the first stroke of midnight, so hurriedly that she had left one of her glass slippers behind, the most beautiful they’d ever seen. They told her that the prince had claimed it, and then searched for her for the rest of the night, and that he was surely madly in love with the princess who had lost the glass slipper.

They’d never said a truer word, because a few days later the prince proclaimed that he would marry the woman whose foot fit the glass slipper. It was tried on the feet of all the princesses, then all the duchesses, then on the whole court. But without success.

The slipper was brought to the home of the two sisters, who did all they could to squeeze into the glass slipper. But they couldn’t even get it past the heel.

Cendrillon, who was watching and recognise the slipper, laughed, “It would even fit me better than that!”

Her sisters only ridiculed her. The gentleman who was doing the fitting, looked at Cendrillon. Finding her quite beautiful, he said it was only fair, and he had orders to let all women try the slipper on.

He made Cendrillon sit down, and approached with the glass slipper. It fit  her quite smoothly, and slipped on and off as though her feet were waxed.

Her sisters were quite astonished. Even more so when Cendrillon pulled out the other glass slipper. Then her godmother arrived. She tapped Cendrillon’s clothes with her magic wand, making her just as beautiful as the rest of them.

Her sisters immediately recognised her as the beautiful princess from the ball. They threw themselves at her feet, and begged her to forgive them for all the nasty things they had done to her.

Cendrillon made them get up, and gave them a hug. She said she forgave them, and hoped they would always be good friends.

Cendrillon was led to the prince, who found her more beautiful then ever. A few days later, they were married. Cendrillon, who was as good as she was beautiful, brought her sisters to live at the palace, and they were soon married to two great lords.

Of Course I Love You

How can you doubt that I love you?
Didn't I marry you, eh?
And though I don't say it too often,
I show it in all sorts of ways.

I'd take you out dining and dancing...
Can you find me a mountain to climb?
An ocean to cross? A boulder to toss?
I'd do them if I had the time.

I'd give you the shirt off me back, love,
I'd give you me last pair of socks;
And last time we went into town, love,
Didn't I buy you a frock?

I let you go home nice and early,
So you have the time to cook tea;
Remember that sometimes on Sundays
I give you the afternoon free.

I tell you when you're being bitchy,
I notice when you're getting fat;
I give you free rein in my tool shed,
I let you wear my fav'rite hat.

So next time you're thinkin' of leaving,
Remember that I think yer great;
And though there are times when yer grumpy...
Fair dinkum, yer still me best mate.

Who else would I trust with the cheque book?
And who else knows just what I like?
And when there are paddocks to muster
Who else but you borrows my bike?

I'll eat humble pie if I have to,
I'll say that I've been a right jerk,
I'll tell you I love you; I've done it: okay?
Now bloody-well come back to work.

Copyright; Janine Haig

FIFTY SOMETHING

“Do you know...what day it is?”
“Nope”...said my beau. “What's today?”
“Well! If you can't remember”, I cried
“I'm not gonna say.
Well aren't you gonna ask me?”
I insisted with a few tears.
“Alright”, he said...”you're fifty today...
and you have been for three or four years”.

That wasn't what I wanted to hear.
Just a few...simple birthday wishes,
a romantic night...a bottle of wine
and someone to do the dishes.
Instead...like a mature plucked Cinderella
with mascara blurred...eyes
my Prince Charming declares he's swapping
my fifty for two twenty fives.

He'll have a problem handling two;
his belly hangs below his belt.
He said my boobs were no better
like saddle bags...last time he felt.
See...they fall underneath me arms.
He knelt on 'em once and they spread.
Reckoned he was leaning forward
to switch on the light overhead.

He can't do things...like he used to
gets short winded and very abrupt.
When we were young...he worked all night
now he's all night...working it up.
Mind you...I don't give him a lot of help
like I did when I was young.
The elasticity has left my vital parts
you could say...spring has sprung.

We try to get together...
was recommended a book called "Fore Play"
wasn't a crossword or card game in it,
and the pictures were worn away.
I looked at myself in the mirror
perhaps the problem lies with me.
Surely the body doesn't fall apart...
...life begins at fifty.

I need to recharge by batteries,
get rid of my facial hair,
buy new underwire bras,
make 'em look like a pair.
My beau used a whipper snipper on my face,
“I'll trim it”...he said...”it won't pull”.
So I laid on the floor with his foot on my neck,
it started...then ran out of fuel.
Just as well...it went berserk,
desexed our neighbour’s cat.
I said...”Whatever you do...don't mention it...
when you give 'em the snipper back.”

I've been going to the gym lately,
I wear the correct gear...
you know...leotards with that skinny strap
on the strategic part of your rear.
No-one told me to wear tights as well
as I sat on the rowing machine.
Imagine how I felt...when a man pulled it out,
thank goodness it came out clean.
I'm preparing my body and keeping fit,
you know age is a state of mind too,
don't ask me what state I'm in,
let's just say...’Thirty Two.’

Copyright; Shirley Friend
From her book 'Another Dose From Floozie'

Ten Commandments Of Marriage

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year,the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished

Six Tips To Stop Smoking

People are fond of socializing: parties, business meetings, conferences, and seminars. And it is during these functions that a person feels an intense pressure to fit it with the crowd. If people drink, chances are, you would also have to drink. If a majority of the people in the group smoke, there is a big likelihood that those few who don't smoke choose to learn to smoke so that they can mingle with those who do. Smoking is a nasty habit to get started on. Thanks to its nicotine content, cigarettes can be highly addictive like other narcotics such as cocaine or heroin. The nicotine tends to hit the central nervous system by giving it a fleeting feeling of calm. Like other narcotics, the body easily gets used to the nicotine, and pretty soon it will be craving for more. It is then that people understand that the smoking habit has got them hook, line, and sinker. A lot of smokers can attest to how difficult it is to get rid of their nasty smoking habits. They have gotten so used to it that they feel like their day lacks something important if they fail to puff even a stick of cigarette. How does one begin to quit smoking and keep their promises to remain smoke-free? Here are some quick and easy ways to stop smoking: 1. Prepare yourself for the battle you’re about to face. Admit it. Your biggest opponent here is your self - your will and determination to say no to cigarettes. Psyche yourself up, think only of positive thoughts. Negativity will only make you lose your drive to quit easier. 2. Make a list. Jot down every reason you have in mind to want to quit smoking. List down all the positive effects quitting will bring you. Write down all the activities you can enjoy once you’ve let go of smoking. This gives you something to look forward to when you’ve finally achieved your goal. 3. Condition your body. Get started in a moderately-paced exercise routine that will help get your body in the best condition to fight your cigarette cravings. 4. Mark the date. Set the date when you will finally quit smoking. Make it sacred, let nothing or no one break it for you. It may help that you make the quitting date fall on a significant date to make the event something to look forward to. 5. Know what you’re getting yourself into. Keep your expectations simple and attainable. Over-expecting may magnify little failures. Understand what you’ll be battling while trying to quit. You’ll experience withdrawal symptoms, but these symptoms will pass in a matter of minutes, it is just a matter of holding on to your will a little longer than usual. It is also best to keep in mind that most quitters never got what they wanted in their first tries. So don’t be too hard on yourself if you’ve failed a few times before. 6. Gradually cut back on the amount of cigarettes you light. It doesn’t help to abruptly deprive yourself of the cigarette and nicotine intake that you’re body has gotten used to. Something as little as one stick every one or two weeks will help your body ease out of your usual nicotine fills. --  THANKS & REGARDS S.RAJ KUMAR

Honor This Day

Feel what a privilege it is to be alive today. Consider all
The possibilities available to you, right now.
 
See the wonder and the beauty all around you. Let yourself
Truly love who you are and where you are in this moment.
 
Sense the eagerness within you to get started, to make
Things happen, and to create value. That eagerness comes
From your genuine excitement about expressing yourself
Through your accomplishments.
 
Look at all the new ways that this day gives you to express
Who you are. Even the troubles, even the problems, and even
The obstacles give meaning to life because they give you
Something to build upon.
 
Life's many circumstances and situations give you a way to
Pull yourself up, and rise to a new level of being. Whatever
Comes your direction gives you a way to create value that
Will last beyond this day, value that will be with you
Always.
 
Honor this day, honor the possibilities in this day, honor
The love and the beauty in this day. Look around at all you
Have, and in this moment make it, in your own way, into
Something truly great.

~Ralph Marston~