FIFTY SOMETHING

“Do you know...what day it is?”
“Nope”...said my beau. “What's today?”
“Well! If you can't remember”, I cried
“I'm not gonna say.
Well aren't you gonna ask me?”
I insisted with a few tears.
“Alright”, he said...”you're fifty today...
and you have been for three or four years”.

That wasn't what I wanted to hear.
Just a few...simple birthday wishes,
a romantic night...a bottle of wine
and someone to do the dishes.
Instead...like a mature plucked Cinderella
with mascara blurred...eyes
my Prince Charming declares he's swapping
my fifty for two twenty fives.

He'll have a problem handling two;
his belly hangs below his belt.
He said my boobs were no better
like saddle bags...last time he felt.
See...they fall underneath me arms.
He knelt on 'em once and they spread.
Reckoned he was leaning forward
to switch on the light overhead.

He can't do things...like he used to
gets short winded and very abrupt.
When we were young...he worked all night
now he's all night...working it up.
Mind you...I don't give him a lot of help
like I did when I was young.
The elasticity has left my vital parts
you could say...spring has sprung.

We try to get together...
was recommended a book called "Fore Play"
wasn't a crossword or card game in it,
and the pictures were worn away.
I looked at myself in the mirror
perhaps the problem lies with me.
Surely the body doesn't fall apart...
...life begins at fifty.

I need to recharge by batteries,
get rid of my facial hair,
buy new underwire bras,
make 'em look like a pair.
My beau used a whipper snipper on my face,
“I'll trim it”...he said...”it won't pull”.
So I laid on the floor with his foot on my neck,
it started...then ran out of fuel.
Just as well...it went berserk,
desexed our neighbour’s cat.
I said...”Whatever you do...don't mention it...
when you give 'em the snipper back.”

I've been going to the gym lately,
I wear the correct gear...
you know...leotards with that skinny strap
on the strategic part of your rear.
No-one told me to wear tights as well
as I sat on the rowing machine.
Imagine how I felt...when a man pulled it out,
thank goodness it came out clean.
I'm preparing my body and keeping fit,
you know age is a state of mind too,
don't ask me what state I'm in,
let's just say...’Thirty Two.’

Copyright; Shirley Friend
From her book 'Another Dose From Floozie'

Longing For Goodness

You've made mistakes and yet you are able to recognize

 those mistakes for what they are, and to learn from them.

 There are times when you stumble, and wander away from the path,

 yet you're always able to get up and find your way back.

 There is within you the longing for truth, for goodness,

 for excellence, substance, and integrity.

 Though your actions sometimes contradict and

compromise that longing, it never goes away.

The very best of who you are is always somewhere within you.

 Choose often to connect with it, and to let it resonate

 throughout the details of your life.

As each moment unfolds, remember the good and valuable

 things of which you are capable. Pay attention to that longing for

 goodness, and follow where it leads.

Hold in your heart those times when you've experienced

 how beautiful and blessed life can be.

Treasure and strengthen the part of you that draws pure joy

 from those moments.

You have known the goodness of life and you know that

it is as close to you as you wish to make it.

 Choose to keep it ever close by.

If a STUDENT makes a mistake

If a BARBER makes a mistake, it's a new style....... ......... .....





If a DRIVER makes a mistake, it's an accident.... ......... ........





If a DOCTOR makes a mistake, it's an operation... ......... ........




If an ENGINEER makes a mistake, it is a new venture..... ......... .





If a POLITICIAN makes a mistake, it is a new law......... .........



If a SCIENTIST makes a mistake, it is a new invention... ......... .




If a TAILOR makes a mistake, it is a new fashion..... ......... ....




If a TEACHER makes a mistake, it is a new theory...... ......... ...





If a STUDENT makes a mistake, it is a "MISTAKE" !!!!!!!!!!!! !

Understanding Why We Get Angry

One of the helpful steps in equipping children to control their anger is to recognize four causes of anger. After kids have settled down and you debrief with them about their anger, talk about whats causing it. You and your child may see patterns and then be able to head off the problem earlier next time.

Blocked Goals. This is the kind of thing that happens to you, as a parent, when you want to do a project in the playroom and find that Billy has left his Lego's all over the floor and you keep stepping on them. Or, Billy may want to play with his train set only to find that his sister is using it first. These are blocked goals

Violated Rights. Thats when you, as a parent, are in the bathroom and your daughter keeps knocking on the door. You believe you have the right to go to the bathroom in peace. Your daughter may get angry because her brother came into her room and took her favorite CD. Those are violated rights.

Unmet Expectations. You had expected that when you got home you would be able to rest but instead you find a big mess. Or Jackie thought she would be going to McDonald's but instead you chose to go to Pizza Hut. Those are unmet expectations.


Experiencing Unfairness. When someone takes a toy from a younger child, you may feel angry as a parent because you see unfairness. Or, Tom may feel angry with his teacher because she picked someone else for a privilege he thought he deserved. Those unfair situations can provoke anger.


Whatever the situation, after a child has settled down, talk about the cause. Discuss the value of sacrificing rights, readjusting goals or expectations, and handling unfairness in a godly way. By examining the causes of anger, you can help children gain greater perspective and develop longer lasting strategies for managing their emotions.