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Monday, January 25, 2010

Some Good Lines...

NEVER   CRY    FOR   ANY   RELATION   IN     LIFE

BECAUSE    FOR   THE   ONE   WHOM    YOU   CRY   

DOES   NOT   DESERVE   YOUR TEARS

AND    THE    ONE   WHO    DESERVES

WILL   NEVER   LET   YOU    CRY......... ........


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TREAT   EVERYONE   WITH   POLITENESS

EVEN    THOSE   WHO   ARE   RUDE    TO   YOU,

NOT    BECAUSE   THEY   ARE   NOT    NICE

BUT    BECAUSE   YOU   ARE    NICE........ ......... ......


___________________________________


NEVER    SEARCH   YOUR   HAPPINESS

IN   OTHERS

WHICH    WILL    MAKE   YOU

FEEL    ALONE,

RATHER    SEARCH   IT   IN   YOURSELF

YOU    WILL   FEEL   HAPPY

EVEN    IF   YOU   ARE   LEFT    ALONE....... ......... ......


___________________________________


ALWAYS    HAVE

A    POSITIVE   ATTITUDE   IN    LIFE.

THERE    IS   SOMETHING   POSITIVE   

IN    EVERY   PERSON.

EVEN    A STOPPED   WATCH   IS    RIGHT

TWICE    A   DAY......... ......... ......... ........


___________________________________


HAPPINESS    ALWAYS   LOOKS   SMALL

WHEN   WE   HOLD   IT   IN   OUR    HANDS.

BUT    WHEN    WE   LEARN   TO 

SHARE    IT,

WE    REALIZE   HOW  BIG    AND   PRECIOUS   IT  
IS...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Lovely Ten

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark...

ONE: Don't miss the boat.

TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.

THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

SIX: Build your future on high ground.

SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.

TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by
professionals.

Wedding Rehearsal

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the preacher with an unusual offer.

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to "love, honor and cherish" and "forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever," I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the preacher looks the young man in the eye and says:

"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and vow eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes."

The groom leaned toward the preacher and whispered: "I thought we had a deal."

The preacher put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back: "She made me a much better
offer."

KINDNESS PAYS !

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.


He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.


Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How  much do I owe you?"


"You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from my heart."


As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.


Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.


Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.


Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.


Dressed in his doctor's gown he we nt in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.


After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room.


She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught; her attention on the side as She read these words.....


"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed) Dr. Howard
Kelly.

Use and meaning of BCC in a e-mail

Use BCC: ( * To: X Cc: X) When Sending to Email Lists

When sending emails to lists, it is important that you use what is called "Blind Carbon Copying (BCC)." Instead of using the box in your email program that says "To," use the one that says "BCC." Why? This hides the recipients email addresses from eachother.

Using Blind Carbon Copying is important for the following reasons:

   1. Using BCC respects the privacy of your contacts. Today I received an email that was sent to hundreds of people, and the sender did not use BCC. Now, every individual who received it has my email address, even though I do not know most of the people on the list. This has occured 4 times in the last 3 days, which is why I am writing this article.
   2. Email lists (especially chain emails) that do not use BCC are contributing to spam. Imagine you send 1 email to 1 friend. That friend forwards your email to 10 different people, and those 10 forward to another 10. None of them use BCC, and now 100 people have your email address. The minute a spammer gets ahold of this, you're on their list, even though you only sent an email to one person! You definitely don't want that. BCC prevents this kind of disease-like spreading of your email to people you don't want to have it.
   3. BCC prevents unintentionally "Replying to All." Have you ever accidentally hit the "Reply to All" and sent your reply out to all recipients, even though you only wanted to reply to the sender? This can be embarrassing, and sometimes even damaging. If the author of the email uses BCC, this is not an issue.
   4. BCC prevents disclosure of who you are sending to. Not only does BCC protect your recipients, it also protects you. In many cases, you don't want everyone to know who you sent the email to.
   5. There are other reasons to use BCC, and if you can think of them, post them in the comments.
   6. In most email clients, the BCC field is very apparent and obvious. While in a new message in AOL's web mail, click BCC. In Gmail and Yahoo Mail!, click add BCC. In Hotmail, click Show Cc & Bcc.
   7. In Outlook and Outlook express, it's not so obvious but turning it on is a one-time event.
   8. To activate the BCC field in Outlook Express, create a new message and choose View, All Headers.
   9. To activate the BCC field in MS-Outlook, create a new message and choose View, BCC.
  10. Lotus Notes - the BCC field is right there. Nothing to "turn on", no hoops to jump through, just use it!

When is using the TO: box OK?

You obviously should use the TO: box if you are sending to one person.

At times, it is completely appropriate to use the TO: box when sending to multiple addresses.

   1. If you intend for a discussion to occur, then each participant must know who else is part of the dialog. However, this should be done only if you are sure that each recipient does not have a problem with their email being shared with the others on the list.
   2. Use TO: if you must explicitly show to whom the email was sent. This is often the case in organizations and businesses.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

I have upgreded girlfriend to wife

What if u upgraded Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0  : )
 



Dear Tech Support Team: 


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.


I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.


In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other   programs and now monitors all other system activities.


Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't      seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.


I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.


 Please help!


 Thanks,
"A Troubled User"



REPLY:



Dear Troubled User:


This is a very common problem that people complain about.


Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that   it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.


Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to   run EVERYTHING!! !


It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to   Girlfriend 5.0.


It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the   system once installed.


You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed   not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony- Child Support) .


I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the   environment.


I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to   alleviate software augmentation.


The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE   because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the  system will return to normal anyway.


Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5     and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how   you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 .


Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0


STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortS kirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0   and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.


Best of luck,
Tech
Support ...

Dying husband....

A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Switzerland but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalised.


When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, "Sweetheart, your future has been taken care of regardless of what happens to me.


You will have an income of $250,000 a year, my home in Palm Springs, my ranch in Texas, my Mercedes. You'll never need to worry about money."




"Oh, sweetheart, please don't talk that way," his young wife exclaimed.


"You've been so good to me already. If you go, I'll be devastated. Oh, there must be something I can do to help you.


Please... Tell me what I can do?"


"Well," the old man gasped, "you can quit pinching the inlet tube to my oxygen supply for
starters."

Speeding

Ramankutty Nair, a middle aged Indian immigrant in Dallas, Texas bought a brand new convertible Porsche.

He took off down the road and pushed it up to 160 MPH and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair.

"This is great," he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed. But when he eventually looked in his rear-view mirror there was a Ford Crown Victoria Police Car behind him, blue lights flashing.



"I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more, and flew down the road at over 210 mph to escape being stopped.

Then he thought, what the hell am I doing? "I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the Police car to catch up with him.

The Policeman pulled in behind the Porsche and walked up on the driver's side.

"Sir, my Shift ends in five minutes and today is Wednesday 22 November a day before Thanksgiving "If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before as to why you were speeding, I'll let you go."

The man looked back at the Policeman and said, "Last week my wife ran off with an American Policeman and I thought you were bringing her back."

The Policeman said, "Have a nice day, sir"

Inheritance

When Fred found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.


So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.


Her natural beauty took his breath away.


"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."


Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his
stepmother.

Worth

Horror gripped the heart of a World War-I soldier, as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. The soldier asked his Lieutenant if he could go out to bring his fallen comrade back.


"You can go," said the Lieutenant," but don't think it will be worth it.


Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away."




"The Lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway.


Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their company's trench. The officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend.


"I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded."


"It was worth it, Sir," said the soldier.


"What do you mean by worth it?" responded the Lieutenant. "Your friend is dead."


"Yes Sir," the soldier answered,


"but it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say....


"Jim...I knew you'd come."



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not, really depends on how u look at it.


Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not  regret not doing it later in your
life........

Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Fascinating Story

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband,dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the president of Harvard's outer office.


The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge.


She frowned. "We want to see the president," the man said softly. "He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped. "We'll wait," the lady replied. For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away.




They didn't. And the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted to do. "Maybe if they just see you for a few minutes, they'll leave," she told him.


And he sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, but he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. The president, stern-faced with dignity, strutted toward the couple.


The lady told him, "We had a son that attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. And my husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus."


The president wasn't touched, he was shocked. "Madam," he said gruffly. "We can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery". "Oh, no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a statue.


We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard." The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard." For a moment the lady was silent.


The president was pleased. He could get rid of them now. And the lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a University? Why don't we just start our own?" Her husband nodded.


The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. And Mr. And Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.


********

"You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them." Malcolm
Forbes

DUBAI IS GROWING TOO FAST

Dubai is home to 1.422 million people with over 292,000 new residents adding up to its demographics structure in 2006. Out of the total 1.422 million in population, 75.5 per cent are male and 24.5 per cent are female.


***********
 
A total of 212,867 vehicles were registered, including 170,951 light vehicles, 5,256 buses, 16,304 light trucks, 8,287 heavy trucks, 312 heavy mechanical vehicles and 3,498 motorcycles, according to statistics released by Dubai Municipality.


***********


 
A total of 2,222 buildings were completed at a cost of AED11.16 billion last year as against 2,252 buildings at the cost of AED7.87 billion in 2005.  


***********
 
As many as 5,640 land deals worth AED65.114 billion were carried out during the year, up from 4,880 land deals worth AED32.62 billion were recorded in 2005.


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The number of mobile phones increased 20.6 per cent. There were more than 2.21 million mobile telephone lines by the end of the year compared to 1.83 million lines in 2005.


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The landlines and fax lines reached 547,375 compared to 520,249 in 2005. The public transport buses in Dubai carried 87.840 million passengers compared to 84.26 million in 2005.


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A record number of 12,385 babies were born in government hospitals, of which 6,292 were males and 6,039 females.  Dubai recorded 2,663 marriages in addition to 908 divorces.


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A total of 28.789 million passengers used the Dubai International Airport compared with 24.782 million in 2005. A total of 35,380 vessels called at Dubai ports, an increase of two per cent over the previous year.  


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Dubai has 220 schools during the academic year 2006-07. Out of this, 88 are government schools and 132 are in the private sector. During 2006, 11,536 new licenses were issued, including 8,585 were trade licenses, 1,998 were professional licenses, 194 industrial licenses.  


***********

The total number of stocks traded on the Dubai Financial Market in 2006 was 39.644 billion, worth AED347.98 billion compared to 25.54 billion shares worth AED405.16 billion in 2005.


***********
                                
Dubai imported goods worth AED219.871 billion during 2006, while the export figures stood at AED18.258 billion and the re-export figures were AED78.309 billion. The free zones imported goods worth AED122.763 billion and exported goods worth AED84.323 billion in 2006.                              


***********
 
Dubai hosted as many as 88 exhibitions and conferences attracting a total of 984,638 visitors and delegates. Dubai also hosted 23 conferences which were attended by 52,660 delegates.


***********
                                
The electricity produced last year rose to 20,314 gigawatt hours and the number of consumer connections reached 339,900. Quantity of water production stands at 68,312 million gallons.

It starts with S and end with X

Do you know which word starts with S and end with X?


Lemme give you a hint:


It usually has high amount of activity


and also has lot of Up and Down movement....


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Got it???????
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Come on... Think about it!!!!!!!!!! !
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Just a little more.......
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Give up?????????? ??
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Its pretty simple...... ......... .. SENSEX

But I like the way you are thinking:)

Cracked Pot

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a Pole Which she carried across her neck.
 

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and Always Delivered a full portion of water.
 

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot Arrived only half full.

 
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only One and a half pots of water.


 

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

 
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable That it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

 
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the Woman one day by the stream.


"I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak Out all the way back to your house."
 

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side Of The path, but not on the other pot's side?"

 
"That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower Seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water Them."

 
"For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate The table.

 
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to Grace the house."





Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each Have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

 
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good In them.



 

SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell The flowers on your side of the path!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

True value of doing business with Bank

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.


Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.


Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"




Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.


An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to Bank?"


"No, sweetheart," she responds.


Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our Bank Master card yet?"


"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.


"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?" he asks.


"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."


Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"


Rajiv answers, "They'll find
us!!!!"

World's Most Powerfull Diesel Engine



The Wartsila-Sulzer RTA96-C turbocharged two-stroke diesel engine is the most powerful and most efficient prime-mover in the world today. The Aioi Works of Japan's Diesel United, Ltd built the first engines and is where some of these pictures were taken.  

It is available in 6 through 14 cylinder versions, all are inline engines. These engines were designed primarily for very large container ships. Ship owners like a single engine/single propeller design and the new generation of larger container ships needed a bigger engine to propel them.  

The cylinder bore is just under 38" and the stroke is just over 98". Each cylinder displaces 111,143 cubic inches (1820 liters) and produces 7780 horsepower. Total displacement comes out to 1,556,002 cubic inches (25,480 liters) for the fourteen cylinder version.  

Some facts on the 14 cylinder version:
Total engine weight: 2300 tons (The crankshaft alone weighs 300 tons.)
Length:89 feet
Height:44 feet
Maximum power:108,920 hp at 102 rpm  
Maximum torque:5,608, 312 lb/ft at 102rpm  

Fuel consumption at maximum power is 0.278 lbs per hp per hour (Brake Specific Fuel Consumption) . Fuel consumption at maximum economy is 0.260 lbs/hp/hour. At maximum economy the engine exceeds 50% thermal efficiency. That is, more than 50% of the energy in the fuel in converted to motion.  

For comparison, most automotive and small aircraft engines have BSFC figures in the 0.40-0.60 lbs/hp/hr range and 25-30% thermal efficiency range.

Even at its most efficient power setting, the big 14 consumes 1,660 gallons of heavy fuel oil per hour.  

Originally by Todd Walke

LET ME LOVE YOU

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl.

This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... Heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company...

 "You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!"

One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realise those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!

Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... And he saw his precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb.


Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... Therefore she had chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.

What a woman says...

What a woman says...

This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
Don't do laundry right now!




What a man hears...

Blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
Blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
Blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah blah blah blah RIGHT
NOW!

Meri kabar pe aake tum

Meri kabar pe aake tum awaaz nahi karna
Dard ki nayii daastan ka aagaaz nahi karna...

Apni bebassi ko khud hii byaan karega ye
Chehre ko kisi aaine ka mohthaaz nahi karna...


Raaz Jo khud se hii na chhipaa paao tum
Aise raaz mein kisi ko hamraaz nahi karna...

Namumkin hai haqikat ke aasman mein urnaa
Khaabon ke sahare isme parwaaz nahi karna...


Zakham phir zakham hai.N I roz bhar jaynge
Husan wallon ko inke charasaaz nahi karna...

Khaakh se bane ho khaakh mein mil jaaoge
Kabhi bhoole se bhi khud pe naaz nahi
karna...

Monday, January 11, 2010

Congratulations

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However,

if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.


The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't
swim!"

Chinese Proverbs

A little impatience will spoil great plans.

Even a hare will bite when it is cornered.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

If you bow at all, bow low.

A smile will gain you ten more years of life.

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.


Behave toward everyone as if receiving a guest.

A fall into a ditch makes you wiser.

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

An inch of time is an inch of gold but you can't buy that inch of time with an inch of gold.

A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood

Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

A book holds a house of gold.

Talk does not cook rice.

Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.

A needle is not sharp at both ends.

Distant water won't help to put out a fire close at hand.

Small men think they are small; great men never know they are great.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Want a thing long enough and you don't.

Clear conscience never fears midnight knocking.

Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.

I was angered, for I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet.

Men trip not on mountains they trip on molehills.

Do not want others to know what you have done? Better not have done it anyways.

A man without a smiling face must not open shop.

It is not the knowing that is difficult, but the doing.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.

A bird can roost but on one branch, a mouse can drink not more than its fill from a
river.

ANGER MANAGEMENT

 
Husband to wife: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.

Husband: How does that help?

Wife: I use your
toothbrush.

NAIL IN THE FENCE

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.


His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper,

He must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.


The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger,


The number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.


Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.


The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.


The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.


The fence will never be the same.


When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.


It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."


A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."


_______________________________________________________

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole in your heart :)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Duck and the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.

He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.
 
 
He Practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target.

Getting A little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was Walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.


Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck Square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.




In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see His sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.


After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the Dishes." But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in The kitchen." Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes.


Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go Fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make Supper."


Sally just smiled and said," Well that's all right because Johnny told Me he wanted to help." She whispered again, "Remember the duck?" So Sally Went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.


After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, He finally couldn't stand it any longer.  He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.


Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, "Sweetheart, I know.  You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long You would let Sally make a slave of you."


**********


Thought for the day and every day thereafter?


Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... And the devil Keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad Habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ....whatever it is....You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing..... He has seen your whole life.

He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven.


He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave Of you.


The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He Not only forgives you, but He forgets . It is by God's grace and Mercy that we are saved.


Go ahead and make the difference in someone's life today. Share This with a friend and always remember :
God is at the window.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Bhagwad Geeta

An old Farmer lived on a farm in the mountains with his young grandson.

Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his  Bhagavat Geeta. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.
 
One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read the Bhagavat Geeta just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget  as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bhagavat Geeta do?"


The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied,  "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of  water."

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back   to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time," and sent him back to  the river with the basket  to try again.

This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was  impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak  out before he got back to the house.

The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he   said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!" >

"So you think it is useless?" The old man said, "Look at the basket."

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the  basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old  coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.

"Son, that's what happens when you read the Bhagavat Geeta. You might not   understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be  changed, inside and out. That is the work of Krishna in our
lives."

Thursday, January 7, 2010

TERI AAHAT PAR

Zakhm Muskurate Hen Ab Bhi Teri Aahat Per
Dard Bhool Jate Hen Ab Bhi Teri Aahat Per

Shabnami Sitaroon Per Phool Khilne Lagte Hen
Chand Muskurate Hen Ab Bhi Teri Aahat Per

Umar Kat Di Lakin Bachpana Nai Jata
Hum Diye Jalate Hen Ab Bhi Teri Aahat Per

Teri Yaad Aaye To Neend Jati Rahti Hai
Hum Khushi Manate Hen Ab Bhi Teri Aahat Per

Ab Bhi Teri Aahat Per Chand Muskurata Hai
Khwab Gungunate Hen Ab Bhi Teri Aahat Per

Tere Hijr Me Hum Per I Aazab Taari hai
Chonk Chonk Jate Hen Ab Bhi Teri Aahat Per

Ab Bhi Teri Aahat Per Aass Lout Aati Hai
Ashq Hum Bahate Hen Ab Bhi Teri Aahat
Per.

Learn to Shut up!

TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new  husband and asked for $20.00 for their first  lovemaking encounter. In  his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that   his employer was going through a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly$1 million.

Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued  by the bank which were worth over $2 million.

She explained that  she had 'charged' him for sex, and these were the  results of her savings and investments.

The husband was so astounded he could  barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If  I'd had any idea what you  were doing, I would have had sex only with you.'

That's when she shot him.

You know, that's what happens when you  don't know when to keep your mouth
shut...!!!

Usne kaha Mujh se kitna Pyaar hai

Usne kaha Mujh se kitna Pyaar hai

Maine kaha Sitaron ka koi Shumaar hai



Usne kaha kon Tumhein hai boht Aziz

Mai NE kaha Dil pe Jise Ikhtiyar hai





Usne kaha konsa Tohfa hai pasand?

Mai NE kaha Wo Shaama Jo AB tak Udhaar hai



Usane kaha sath kahan tak Nibhao GE?

Mai NE kaha jitni ye Saanson ki Taar hai



Usne kaha Mujh ko Yaqeen aaye kis tarah?

Mai NE kaha Mera Naam hi Aitbaar
hai

The Lagoon

 
 May be you have heared about the Great Barrier Reef, stretching some 1,800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to view the reef.

On one tour, a traveler asked the guide an interesting question."I noticed that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while the ocean side is vibrant and colorful," the traveler observed. "Why is this?"

The guide gave an interesting answer:"The coral around the lagoon side is in still water with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, and storms -- surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life.As it is challenged and tested, it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces."

Then he added this telling note: "That's the way it is with every living organism."

That's how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive! Like coral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical demands can cause us to grow stronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness and resiliency. Spiritual testing can produce strength of character and faithfulness . So, you have problems? No problem! Just tell yourself, "There I grow again!".

Remember, A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner- English
Proverb.

The Bowl

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.


After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble.

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.


When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"?
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."


The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.? I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.


After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"? "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.? "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.?

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends
behind.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

It's Appraisal Time !

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the station.


At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around.


With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it.


There was blood all over the body which was lying face down.


It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age.




Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it.


With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer.


I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors.


Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!!


My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...


As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand.


I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.


While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... Hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials.


This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second.


The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... It was me who was dead there!!!!!!! ! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind...... ... Splash!!!


Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter
ready".

The Master

When one Guru  was dying, one of his deciple asked him "Guruji, who was your master?"He said, "I had thousands of masters. If I just relate their names it will take months, years and it is too late. But three masters I will certainly tell you about.

One was a thief. Once I got lost in the desert, and when I reached a village it was very late, everything was closed. But at last I found one man who was trying to make a hole in t he wall of a house. I asked him where I could stay and he said 'At this time of night it will be difficult, but you can say with me - if you can stay with a thief'.And the man was so beautiful. I stayed for one month! And each night he would say to me, 'Now I am going to my work. You rest, you pray.' When he came back I would ask 'Could you get anything?' He would say, 'Not tonight. But tomorrow I will try again, God willing.' He was never in a state of hopelessness, he was always happy.

When I was meditating and meditating for years on end and nothing was happening, many times the moment came when I was so desperate, so hopeless,that I thought to stop all this nonsense. And suddenly I would remember the thief who would say every night, 'God willing, tomorrow it is going to happen.'

And my second master was a dog. I was going to the river, thirsty and a dog came. He was also thirsty. He looked into the river, he saw another dog there -- his own image -- and became afraid. He would bard and run away, but his thirst was so much that he would come back. Finally, despite his fear, he just jumped into the water, and the image disappeared. And I knew that a message had come to me from God: one has to jump in spite of all fears.

And the third master was a small child. I entered a town and a child was carrying a lit candle. He was going to the mosque to put the candle there.

'Just joking,' I asked the boy, 'Have you lit the candle yourself?' He said,

'Yes sir.' And I asked, 'There was a moment when the candle was unlit, then there was a moment when the candle was lit. Can you show me the source from which the light came?' And the boy laughed, blew out the candle, and said, 'Now you have seen the light going. Where has it gone? You will tell me!'

My ego was shattered, my whole knowledge was shattered. And that moment I felt my own stupidity. Since then I dropped all my knowledgeability.


It is true that I had no master. That does not mean that I was not a disciple

-- I accepted the whole existence as my master. My Disciplehood was a greater involvement than yours is. I trusted the clouds, the trees. I trusted existence as such. I had no master because I had millions of masters I learned from every possible source. To be a disciple is a must on the path. What does it mean to be a disciple? It means to be able to learn. To be available to learn to be vulnerable to existence. With a master you start learning to learn.


The master is a swimming pool where you can learn how to swim. Once you have learned, all the oceans are
yours."