John and His Zippy Zebra Adventures

Once upon a time in a land so grand, Lived a little boy named John, oh so tan. By his side, a zebra with stripes so neat, Together they would embark on adventures sweet. John was a curious boy, full of delight, With eyes that twinkled and a smile so bright. His zebra friend was zippy and full of glee, Ready to explore and set their spirits free. In the morning sun, they would rise with cheer, Ready for a day of excitement and wonder near. John would hop on his zebra's back, And off they'd go on their thrilling track. Through fields of flowers, they would race, With the wind in their hair, at a joyous pace. Zebra's hooves would gallop, oh so fast, While John would hold on, having a blast. Their first adventure took them to the woods, Where animals of all kinds hid under hoods. They met a squirrel with a bushy tail, And a wise old owl with a hoot so frail. Deeper they ventured, into the unknown, Where a mischievous fox made his home. But with zebra's speed and John's brave heart, They outsmarted the fox and made it depart. Next, they traveled to a sparkling stream, Where fish swam freely, as if in a dream. John and his zebra watched in awe, As the fish splashed and leaped, without a flaw. They crossed the stream to a meadow wide, Where butterflies danced and bees buzzed with pride. Zebra nibbled on the grass so green, While John chased butterflies, a marvelous scene. As the sun began to set, they found a tree, With a sturdy branch and a view so free. They sat together, beneath the golden hue, Sharing stories and dreams as the day withdrew. In the twilight hours, stars filled the sky, John and his zebra gazed up so high. Constellations formed in a heavenly array, Guiding them through the night, lighting their way. Their adventures took them far and wide, Scaling mountains tall and crossing rivers wide. They met friendly elephants and playful kangaroos, And even had tea with a group of wise old gnus. But no matter where their journey would lead, John and his zebra would always succeed. Their bond was strong, their friendship true, Together they were unstoppable, just the two. As the seasons changed, so did their quests, From snow-covered mountains to tropical nests. John and his zebra never lost their zeal, Exploring the world with hearts full of zeal. And so, their story continues to this day, John and his zebra, forever at play. If you listen closely, you might just hear, The echoes of laughter and adventures so dear. For in the land of dreams and imagination, John and his zebra find eternal fascination. With each new adventure, they learn and grow, Spreading joy and wonder wherever they go. So, dear children, hold onto your dreams, For like John and his zebra, life's not what it seems. With a dash of courage and a sprinkle of zest, You too can embark on adventures, your very best! The End

A Blue Valentine

For Aline

Monsignore,
Right Reverend Bishop Valentinus,
Sometime of Interamna, which is called Ferni,
Now of the delightful Court of Heaven,
I respectfully salute you,
I genuflect
And I kiss your episcopal ring.

It is not, Monsignore,
The fragrant memory of your holy life,
Nor that of your shining and joyous martyrdom,
Which causes me now to address you.
But since this is your august festival, Monsignore,
It seems appropriate to me to state
According to a venerable and agreeable custom,
That I love a beautiful lady.
Her eyes, Monsignore,
Are so blue that they put lovely little blue reflections
On everything that she looks at,
Such as a wall
Or the moon
Or my heart.
It is like the light coming through blue stained glass,
Yet not quite like it,
For the blueness is not transparent,
Only translucent.
Her soul's light shines through,
But her soul cannot be seen.
It is something elusive, whimsical, tender, wanton, infantile, wise
And noble.
She wears, Monsignore, a blue garment,
Made in the manner of the Japanese.
It is very blue-
I think that her eyes have made it more blue,
Sweetly staining it
As the pressure of her body has graciously given it form.
Loving her, Monsignore,
I love all her attributes;
But I believe
That even if I did not love her
I would love the blueness of her eyes,
And her blue garment, made in the manner of the Japanese.

Monsignore,
I have never before troubled you with a request.
The saints whose ears I chiefly worry with my pleas
are the most exquisite and maternal Brigid,
Gallant Saint Stephen, who puts fire in my blood,
And your brother bishop, my patron,
The generous and jovial Saint Nicholas of Bari.
But, of your courtesy, Monsignore,
Do me this favour:
When you this morning make your way
To the Ivory Throne that bursts into bloom with roses
because of her who sits upon it,
When you come to pay your devoir to Our Lady,
I beg you, say to her:
"Madame, a poor poet, one of your singing servants yet on earth,
Has asked me to say that at this moment he is especially grateful to you
For wearing a blue gown".

by Joyce Kilmer

That little girl

Have you ever not wanted to do something so badly that you would rather die than go? Well that’s how I felt about joining Madcaps and volunteering at Saint Vincent De Paul Homeless shelter.
But now I believe that you should have an open mind to things because in the end you might just end up enjoying it.
“It’s a waste of time”, I said when my mom told I had to join Madcaps, a mothers and daughters club assisting philanthropies, and then when she told me I had to volunteer at a homeless shelter I thought this just could not get worse.
We got there late, of course, and walked to the dirty homeless shelter, where we saw a lady yelling at the security guard. He dealt with her and then lead us to the kitchen where we ran into my five fellow Madcaps class of 2017 mothers and daughters. Since I’m usually so socially awkward I had met only one person at the pool party, earlier this year. I looked around for her but she was not there. Damn, I was alone!
When the head of the kitchen came out and asked for 3 mothers to work outside the kitchen to clean up the plates and silverware, my mom just so happened to volunteer, leaving me to serve food with people I had never met before.
Soon the homeless families started to walk in and a little girl, around 5 years old, walked up and pointed to the food I was handing out. I handed her the cold sandwich, wrapped in the sticky plastic, she nodded in a form of saying thanks, and then walked to join her family at the large table.
As she walked away I thought of how much I had. I get to go to one of the top schools in San Diego, I have a great house by the water, and I have a warm meal every night. Then I thought of how little she had. She probably didn’t go to school, and this is where she sleeps and eats every day. It took that little girl to make me realize just how lucky I am.
After that moment I had a change of heart. Now, I love Madcaps and don’t miss one meeting, I have gotten over being socially awkward and now have many friends, who I hang out with on a regular basis. And this year I am sure I will do more than the required 20 hours of philanthropies.
I believe that if you have an open mind about things you can learn a lot about yourself and the people in your community, you can make new friends and realize just how lucky you are. I believe that if you have an open mind to things you can accomplish more and become a better rounded person. I believe you can make a difference just by doing one thing you don’t want to do.

Story by visitor: Aly Arrington

ATM

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Too Many Fires

A new firefighter was being trained by an old fire chief.

"How would you react if a sudden fire flared up on the front of the building?" asked the fire chief.

"Break out a fire hose and start spraying it, chief." answered the new firefighter.

"How would you react if another fire flared up in the back of the building?" asked the fire chief.

"Break out another fire hose and start spraying it, chief." answered the new firefighter.

"And if another huge fire flared up in the basement, how would you react?" asked the fire chief.

"Break out another fire hose." answered the new firefighter.

"Now wait a minute, son," said the fire chief. "Where are all these fire hoses coming from?"

The new firefighter answered, "The same place where all of the fires are coming from, chief."

The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever

Let’s face it – we’ve all had our share of embarrassing moments. Just be thankful that none of them were as humiliating (and hilarious!) as these:

"A mother was taking a shower when her2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!"

"A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away."

"A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’

An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, "Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?" She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, "I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments." The cunning guy now yells loudly, "What do you mean by $500?"

The World’s Funniest Real Ads

Believe it or not, these ads actually found their way into newspapers all over the world:

Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.

For sale, Hope Chest, brand new, half off, long story.

Help wanted, adult or mature teenager to baby-sit. One dollar an hour.

Lost: small brown poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to- find person.

Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink.

Three-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 per hour.

Our sofa seats the whole mob and it’s made of 100% Italian leather.

Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell.

Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby.

Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

Open house body shapers toning salon free coffee and donuts

Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat... been out while. Better be reward.

Exercise equipment: Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.

Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog.

Free puppies: ½ cocker spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor’s dog.

Free puppies: part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

German Shepherd, 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.

Snow Blower for sale…only used on snowy days.

Bill’s Septic Cleaning: “We Haul American-Made Products."

Cows, calves never bred…also 1 gay bull for sale.

Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once.

Hummels – Largest selection ever. "If it’s in stock, then we have it!"

1 man, 7 women hot tub. $850/offer.

Shakespeare’s Pizza. Free chopsticks.

Harrisburg Postal Employee Gun Club.

Tickle-Me-Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Ford Mustang, 5L, Auto, Excellent condition $6800.

Duck Hunting

He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.

In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the nw Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.

Now, these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and from the new Navigator truck), and they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the lit dynamite fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite as far away as they can.

Remember a couple of sentences back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog??

Let's talk about the dog: it's a highly trained Labrador used for RETRIEVING. Especially well trained at retrieving things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.

One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 birdshot, hardly big enough to stop a Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck..

The men continue to yell as they run away. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after his master.

Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this "I can't believe this happened"look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED. He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments!!!

And you thought your day was not going well.

Nasty Bug

Every night, Harold would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, and left.

The next night, after he finished his 3th beer, the doorbell rang.

He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.

The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.

The fourth night Harold didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Harold and left him in a heap on the living room floor.

The following day, Harold went to see his doctor. He explained events of the preceding four nights. "

" What can I do? " he pleaded.

" Not much " he doctor replied. " There's just a nasty bug going around."

Puss In Boots

There was once a miller who had three sons. When his end was near, he gathered them close to him and said:

"My sons, it your turn now to take the reins. You, my eldest, child shall have the windmill. You, my next elder, shall have the donkey. An you, my little Benjamin .. will have the cat."

On the death of their father, the three sons got what he had said.

The youngest son was crestfallen at having inherited the cat. He berated himself and said, "What am I going to do with such a ridiculous gift? I suppose I can eat him when I'm starving and sell his skin for a few sous ... After that, I'll probably starve to death!"

The cat, who had heard everything, said to him. "Now, now, Master. No need to cry like that. Get me a big sack and a pair of boots."

Without being astonished that his cat could talk to him, the young lad went and fetched what was asked for.

The cat put on the boots, took up the sack and left for the forest.

He lay the sack down, which he had transformed into a trap, and waited.  He didn't have to wait long before a stunned hare was swallowed up inside it, and the cat had only to pull the strings to trap it.

The cat went along to the king's palace, who lived not far away, and asked to see him.

He was received by the king in person, and after a few reverences, said  to him, "Sire, my master the Marquis de Carabas gives you this hare as a gift. He caught it himself on his own grounds.”

The king accepted the present and asked the cat to thank his master for him.

The next day, the cat caught two partridges that he brought to the king, still on behalf of the Marquis de Carabas. Throughout the next week the cat brought the king the products of his hunting.

At the end of the week the cat found his master and said to him, "Master, today you will bathe in the river."

The young lad, still not astonished at a talking cat, did as he was told.

While he was splashing about in the water, he heard the noise of a horse-drawn carriage and his cat crying out:

"Help, Help! My master the Marquis de Carabas is drowning!"

The king, who was passing by, ordered his men to stop the carriage and go to the river. He asked his people to help the Marquis de Carabas. To cap it all, explained the cat, the brigands had stolen the master's clothes. The king had someone look for a new suit of clothes for the Marquis.

The young lad, once he was finely dressed, was quite a handsome chap. He approached the carriage to thank the king and noticed the princess. He mumbled a few words and the king, who noticed that his daughter had taken quite a shine to the lad, said to him:

"Marquis, won't you join us?"

He couldn't believe his luck, and sat himself in the carriage facing the princess.

Meanwhile the cat had gone on ahead. Seeing a wheat field in which some harvesters where gathering in the crop, he approached and said to them:

"When they ask you who the field belongs to, you will say it belongs to the Marquis de Carabas. If you don't, I'll see to it that you're ground into mince meat."

As soon as the carriage drew up to the field, the king asked the harvesters, "Who owns this soil?"

They replied, in a single voice, "The Marquis de Carabas."

Not far along, the cat came across some reapers sowing a field. He said to them:

"When they ask you who the field belongs to, you will say it belongs to the Marquis de Carabas. If you don't, I'll see to it that you're ground into mince meat."

The king's carriage drew up along side the reapers and asked them, "Whose land is this?"

They replied, in a single voice, "The Marquis de Carabas."

The cat continued his journey up ahead. He arrived at a castle owned by an ogre, the same ogre who owned the fields they'd just passed. He asked to see the ogre, and was granted an audience.

"My lord," said the cat addressing the ogre. "I have learnt that besides all your riches you possess a gift: The gift of turning yourself into any kind animal you choose. But, I can't quite bring myself to believe it. Perhaps, in your great generosity, you'll kindly give me a demonstration of your powers . . ."

The ogre, flattered that someone had taken quite such an interest in him, proposed to turn himself into a lion, a feat which he completed immediately.

When he resumed his original appearance, that cat thanked him profusely, and then said:

"You know how to transform yourself in a ferocious animal. But do you know how to change yourself in a small animal ... a mouse, for example?"

The ogre, proud and vain, and wanting to show off his immense power, didn't hesitate, and immediately transformed himself into a mouse.

The cat, not giving him the opportunity to transform himself back, pounced on the mouse and ate him!

He went to find the servants in the castle and ordered them to prepare a great feast for the arrival of their new master.

Soon the king's carriage arrived. Opening the door, the cat said:

"As a way of thanks, my master the Marquis of Carabas invites you to dine with him."

The king climbed down from the carriage, followed by his daughter and the "Marquis de Carabas", and was led to the castle by the cat.

During the course of the sumptuous diner, the king addressed the  Marquis.

"Sir, I see that my daughter has taken quite a shine to you. You don't displease me, either. Would you do me the honour of becoming my son-in-law?"

The "Marquis" was delighted at this offer, having eyes only for the princess. He accepted the honour with joy and married her the very next day.

As for the cat, he was made a lord. He still chases mice, if only for the simple pleasure it brings him.

Inspiration

1. I Am A Great Believer In Luck & I Find That The Harder I Work, The More I Have Of It...

2. Whenever You Fall, Pick Something Up...

3. No One Can Climb The Ladder Of Success, With Both Hands In The Pocket...

4. I Am A Slow Walker But I Never Walked Back...

5. Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do...

6. A Winner Never Quits & A Quitter Never Wins...

7. Not Failure, But Low Aim Is A Crime...

8. Your Aspirations Are Your Possibilities...

9. The Highest Result Of Education Is Tolerence...

10. Control Your Destiny Or Somebody Else Will...

Be Nice and Smile

Be nice and smile to everyone you meet.
You don't know what they are going through,

And they might just need that smile.

At least for a moment, it would make a lot of difference to them.

Life gives us many such moments to make others feel better.
For tomorrow when you feel low,

Someone might smile and you may feel better. 

Progress

Progress is made in steps. Be willing to take enough steps,

and you can get wherever you want.
Imagine walking to a destination that is one mile away.

The first step doesn't seem to take you very far,

though if you keep going you'll be there in half an hour.

When working toward a goal, the intermediate steps may seem tedious

 and unfulfilling. Yet in reality, they are the very essence of fulfillment.
That fulfillment will be realized when the steps are all taken.

 Keep going, and the achievement will be yours.

Whether the goal is modest or highly ambitious, taking sure and

 steady steps will get you there. When you're willing to take

 the necessary steps, there is no limit to where you can go.
Though the goal may seem distant, the pathway is not.

 The first step is right in front of you now. 

 

~Ralph Marston~

No day is Wasted

Living with purpose and clear focus helps you to understand
The value of being meaningfully focused. And aimlessly
Wandering with no clear focus can also help you to
Appreciate the power of a positive purpose.
 
Either way, life leads you surely, steadily toward your
Purpose. Whether you experience the pain of losing touch
With that purpose, or the joy of living in harmony with it,
You grow in understanding and appreciation.
 
No day, no experience, no encounter is really wasted.
Through the ups and downs, in the good times and in times of
Despair, you feel more intensely the longing to express who
You truly are.
 
The beauty of this day is not in its particulars. The beauty
Is that you can take it all in, whatever and however it may
Be, and add it to the substance of your being.
 
Whatever comes along, be thankful for the opportunity to
Pass through it. Whatever is, go with it and grow with it.
 
Your purpose cannot help but become stronger, as each moment
Passes. Feel that strength, and live it more fully, more
Authentically, day after day.

 

~Ralph Marston~

To move ahead you need to believe in yourself...

Good parents give their children Roots and Wings.
Roots to know where home is,wings to fly away
And exercise what's been taught them.
 ~Jonas Salk~

My mother is my root, my foundation. She planted

 the seed that I base my life on, And that is the belief

that the ability to achieve starts in your mind.

- Michael Jordan

 

Failure is nature's plan to prepare you for great responsibilities.
~Napoleon Hill~

A bend in the road is not the end of the road...
Unless you fail to make the turn.
 ~Unknown~

 

Time sets the stage; fate writes the script; but only
We may choose our character. ~Liam Thomas Ryder~

 

The human brain is unique in that it is the only
Container of which it can be said that the more you put
Into it, the more it will hold.
 ~Glenn Doman~

 

We can let circumstances rule us,

 or we can take charge and rule our lives from within.

~Earl Nightingale~

 

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom a good one.
~Benjamin Franklin~

 

 

To move ahead you need to believe in yourself...

have conviction in your beliefs and the confidence

 to execute those beliefs.
 ~Adlin Sinclair~

 

The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross

 and which to burn.
 ~David Russell~

The strength of a man

The strength of a man is not seen in the width of his shoulders.
It's seen in the width of his arms that circle you.

The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice,
It is in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It's how good a buddy he is with his kids.

The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how respected he is at home.

The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest.
It's in his heart .... That lies within his chest.

The strength of a man isn't how many women he has loved.
It's in - can he be true to one woman.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It is in the burdens he can carry.

The Wise Wman

Sometimes it's not the wealth you have but what's inside you that
Others need....

A wise woman, who was traveling in the mountains, found a precious
Stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler, who was hungry.

The wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler
Saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did
So without hesitation.

The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone
Was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.

But, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise
Woman.

"I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable this stone
Is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even
More precious. Please give me what you have within you that enabled
You to give me this stone."

Book Report

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic'

 

And 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, with the

Proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic:  Cost - $29.99
Clinton :  Cost - $29.99

Titanic:  Over 3 hours to read
Clinton :  Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love and

Subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love and

Subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:  Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:  Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:  In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:  Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:  During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:  Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:  Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:  Let's not go there.

Titanic:  Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton:  Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:  Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:  Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:  Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:  Monica…..Ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:  Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:  Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing

GETTING DIVORCED

Little Johnny was playing in his room when his dad walked in and explained that he and his mom were getting a divorce.

"Why Daddy?" asked a confused Little Johnny.

"Well, son" he explained, "Your mother and I are no longer in love."

Now more confused, Little Johnny asked, "What does being in love mean?"

"Let me give you an example, son. Love is when a husband rushes home from a long day at work to embrace and kiss his wife at the door. Your mom and I have lost that love."

"But Daddy, I see Mommy getting excited lots of times right when you come home, so she must still be in love with you."

"I don't understand, son. When has your mother recently been excited when I arrive home from work?"

"Well, sometimes when Mommy is still sleeping in bed with the neighbor, and you pull into the driveway, she shouts at the top of her lungs, 'My husband's home! My husband's home!"

Confidence !

The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out.

Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
 
Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said.

 
After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you."
 
He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time."
 
Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come.
 
The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!
 
"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the uncashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
 
With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
 
Exactly one year later, he returned to the park with the uncashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.
 
"I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you.  He's always escaping from the rest home and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller."
 

And she led the old man away by the arm.
 

The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, c onvinced he had half a million dollars behind him.
 
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.