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Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Confession

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her  husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees  them and hides in the  bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet , not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says , "Dark in here."

The man says , "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No , thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK , how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."

In the next few weeks , it happens again that the  boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover , remembering the last time , asks the boy  , "How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."

A few days later , the father says to the boy , "Grab your gloves , let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says , "I can't , I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks , "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says , "$500"

The father says , "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost.

I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says , "Dark in here."
The priest says , "Don't start that shit again , you're in my closet
now.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Christmas shopping

It was nearly Christmas and Judge Judy was in a happy mood.  She asked the defendant, "What are you being prosecuted for?"


"Doing my Christmas shopping too early," replied the defendant.


"That's not a crime," replied Judge Judy.


"How early were you doing you Christmas shopping?"


"Before the store opened," replied the
defendant!